L.A Drivers - Made My Own List

I made my own list of
L.A. driving behaviors

I know that L.A. is not the
Traffic capital of the world and
It's actually mild compared to other cities
But still...
I've been an L.A. driver since
I was 15yrs old and so I know
A little something about how we behave

So here we go...

1. You have to memorize where potholes are
Because a pothole can ruin your tire alignment
If you hit one going 35+ MPH

2. You’ll get used to people making U-turns
Just about anywhere at anytime

3. You’ll drive as fast as possible to be
The first at the red light or stop sign

4. You'll get familiar with
"Driver's Regret"
Which shows up when you
Don't take the route you thought
You should  have taken and end
Up stuck in traffic

5. You’ll have several alternate
Routes mapped in your head to get
To your most frequented places

6. You rather suffer in traffic and pay
$20 for parking than to carpool and
Be on someone else’s schedule

7. Traffic will never cease to
Surprise you, frustrate you, and ruin your vibe

8. You won’t pull over to the right shoulder
If you get in a car accident even
If your car is still functioning

9. You’ll swear by Google Maps or Waze
Because it navigates you through the “fastest” routes

10. You’ll hardly ever be on time

11. You’ll spend your driving time talking
On the phone so make sure
You get and unlimited talk plan

12. You’ll get frustrated when people
Honk at you only after
TWO seconds of the light turning green

13. You’ll get really good at cutting people off
And really good at tailgating
As to not let people cut you off

14. You’ll look into relaxation and breathing
Techniques because road rage
Is bad for the liver (Read: Drinking to relax)

And finally

15. If driving in DTLA, you’ll be uber-alert
to not run over a homeless person