Befriending Myself

FRIENDS!
How many of us have them?
FRIENDS!
Ones we can depend on…
Whodini

Growing up I begged for
“Friends”
Now that I’m older…
I run away from
“Friends”

It has taken a while for me
To muster the courage
To choose solitude
Over being
In the presence of
People I’m not aligned with

Once the choice is made
It can be difficult to keep it
Because of the fear of
Feeling lonely

There have been many
Times when I rekindled
The friendship only to
Hate myself for doing so

After all the trials and errors
The desire to
Grow my self-love
Is now far greater
Than my need for
Painful, destructive, loveless
Companionship

And I’m not sure if
It’s right or wrong;
If I’m being loving towards myself
Or just being intolerant of others

I really don't know

But what I DO know is that
The feeling of space,
Externally and Internally,
Feels really awesome